An anti-bucket list is a list of things you don’t ever want to do or try or see till you die.
I think I consider myself adventurous in a way, I mean I like to try new things, go to new places and do new stuff but trust me, there are some things I just don’t want to ever do or consider till I leave this messed up world or not-so-messed up world.
Today, I am just going to share a few of those things I never want to try or experience.
1. Anal Sex:
I know there is a rave going on about anal pleasure, everyone seems to be screaming how awesome it is on the internet and preaching about all the treasures hidden down my rectum. I really don’t want to discover shit hidden in my rectum, no pun intended.
Being constipated is not fun, so I can’t even imagine having a whole penis going in and out of that space. Okay, I think that’s enough explanation, you get the point.
2. Getting Arrested:
For someone who is a trouble maker and runs her mouth like she owns the world, I really dread this.
Nigerian holding cells are very disgusting, I have heard horrifying stories and stuff of how nasty the place is and the kind of maltreatment experienced by suspects. I even heard people leave those cells with skin cancers and infections.
3. Getting Lost in the Jungle:
Don’t ask me why the hell will I find myself in the jungle?🙄
Like I said earlier, I love visiting new places but because this is one of the items on my anti-bucket list, I always do myself a favor by adhering to rules and not veering off course.
The horror movies I have watched are enough to tell me what happens when a group of tourists gets lost in the jungle.
4. Witnessing a bank robbery:
I am definitely going to die from a heart attack from all the gunshots in the air to just get our attention.
As a clumsy person, I just know I will do something really stupid when the robbers scream “Everyone get down on the floor!”. I may probably not get down fast enough or I may get down and try to scratch my butt and end up getting shot in the process because they thought I was about to reach for my phone or pull out a weapon or whatever.
5. Eating Noodles & Egusi Soup:
Yeah! people eat this. I don’t think it will be over the top disgusting but I don’t want to ever be in a state of mind to consider this mixture in the first place.
6. Seeing two Tarantulas Mate:
I mean, what are the odds right?
A tarantula is a large hairy spider with fangs, yeah fangs! I don’t even want to think about this.
7. Run a marathon:
Like what am I trying to do? Die?
I know how I feel taking walks, I don’t really want to know how I would feel If I ran one mile.
The country is hard enough, I don’t want to try and break my spine or get whipped in the bedroom. “50 shades of grey” is not for me, I am okay with just three primary colors, thanks but no thanks.
9. Go completely nude in Public:
I know I always scream out my lungs shouting yes!! When I see questions online that goes ” would you walk naked for ##millions of naira?” but in reality, Hell Nah!!!
10. Be featured in an adult movie:
Yeah, I am talking about pornography here. I find adult movies interesting but I don’t think anyone would buy If I featured in one. So, Nah! I am good.
Let me hear about your anti-bucket list too in the comment section.
And yes, I know I am weird.
Weird is the new cool by the way.
Either you run the day or the day runs you.