My Anti-Bucket List

Weird huh?

An anti-bucket list is a list of things you don’t ever want to do or try or see till you die.

I think I consider myself adventurous in a way, I mean I like to try new things, go to new places and do new stuff but trust me, there are some things I just don’t want to ever do or consider till I leave this messed up world or not-so-messed up world.

Today, I am just going to share a few of those things I never want to try or experience.

1. Anal Sex:

I know there is a rave going on about anal pleasure, everyone seems to be screaming how awesome it is on the internet and preaching about all the treasures hidden down my rectum. I really don’t want to discover shit hidden in my rectum, no pun intended.

Being constipated is not fun, so I can’t even imagine having a whole penis going in and out of that space. Okay, I think that’s enough explanation, you get the point.

2. Getting Arrested:

For someone who is a trouble maker and runs her mouth like she owns the world, I really dread this.

Nigerian holding cells are very disgusting, I have heard horrifying stories and stuff of how nasty the place is and the kind of maltreatment experienced by suspects. I even heard people leave those cells with skin cancers and infections.

3. Getting Lost in the Jungle:

Don’t ask me why the hell will I find myself in the jungle?🙄

Like I said earlier, I love visiting new places but because this is one of the items on my anti-bucket list, I always do myself a favor by adhering to rules and not veering off course.

The horror movies I have watched are enough to tell me what happens when a group of tourists gets lost in the jungle.

4. Witnessing a bank robbery:

I am definitely going to die from a heart attack from all the gunshots in the air to just get our attention.

As a clumsy person, I just know I will do something really stupid when the robbers scream “Everyone get down on the floor!”. I may probably not get down fast enough or I may get down and try to scratch my butt and end up getting shot in the process because they thought I was about to reach for my phone or pull out a weapon or whatever.

5. Eating Noodles & Egusi Soup:

Yeah! people eat this. I don’t think it will be over the top disgusting but I don’t want to ever be in a state of mind to consider this mixture in the first place.

6. Seeing two Tarantulas Mate:

I mean, what are the odds right?

A tarantula is a large hairy spider with fangs, yeah fangs! I don’t even want to think about this.

7. Run a marathon:

Like what am I trying to do? Die?

I know how I feel taking walks, I don’t really want to know how I would feel If I ran one mile.

8. BDSM:

The country is hard enough, I don’t want to try and break my spine or get whipped in the bedroom. “50 shades of grey” is not for me, I am okay with just three primary colors, thanks but no thanks.

9. Go completely nude in Public:

I know I always scream out my lungs shouting yes!! When I see questions online that goes ” would you walk naked for ##millions of naira?” but in reality, Hell Nah!!!

10. Be featured in an adult movie:

Yeah, I am talking about pornography here. I find adult movies interesting but I don’t think anyone would buy If I featured in one. So, Nah! I am good.

Let me hear about your anti-bucket list too in the comment section.

And yes, I know I am weird.

Weird is the new cool by the way.

Have a splendid day!

Either you run the day or the day runs you.

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4 thoughts on “My Anti-Bucket List

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