Relationships Are Hard

“A relationship with lots of pain, it’s not a relationship that will last long”.

— Jang In-hwan

Falling in love is a very powerful feeling. Everything is dreamy and exciting all at once, the ecstasy it gives is in fact indescribable.

However, staying in love is much difficult. People often say ‘Relationship is hard work’ and I tell you they are very much correct. Although, the saying has been somewhat misconstrued in the part of world where I live to mean “You will suffer a lot of pain”.

Churches and relationship seminars often preach this subtlely. And a lot of people have very well been conditioned to believe that a relationship should come with lots of pain, hurt, disappointment and grief and that is when the true test comes. A test of how long you can hold on to a dead branch.

But that is not what it means when they say relationship is hard work. No one needs to endure any form of abuse to stay in a relationship. Violence, incessant cheating, emotional abuse are not part of the ups and downs of a relationship.

Relationships are hard because:

1. It takes a lot of effort to effectively and constantly communicate with your partner even when you don’t feel like it.

2. It takes deliberate work to fight fair.

3. It takes a whole lot of work to get out of ruts and boring routines.

4. It takes work to never take your partner for granted.

5. It takes work to constantly choose and prioritize each other especially when life becomes difficult.

6. It takes work to keep the passion alive and sizzling.

Relationship is not about taking bullshit and toxic excesses of the other person. It’s about two committed people willing to give their very best, that is what makes it hard.

28 thoughts on “Relationships Are Hard

  1. heatherjo86 says:

    Excellent post! You are exactly right about the work that’s involved and I am so happy you articulated the line between going through rough patches and abuse. No one should put up with abuse. That is not normal. However, rough patches in a relationship are experienced by everyone. Along with the list you provided, Colossians 3:12-14 mentions we are to clothe ourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, mildness and patience. As imperfect humans that carry different circumstances in which we were raised, mildness and patience, even love may not be our experiences growing up and it takes work to overcome the results of our environment, our weakness, temptations and natural tendencies. But when you put in the work Jehovah God blesses your efforts. That’s been my experience.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Ria's Haven says:

      Omg! You have said it all. I am so sorry I am just replying to this comment.

      I appreciate your well detailed thoughts on this. I will be sure to return the favour and go through your blog posts as well. Thank you so much for stopping by. 💙


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