“A healthy relationship is a feast of affection/giving for both people; not one receiving crumbs and trying to convince themselves it’s enough.”
– Shannon Thomas
It is one of my blogging traditions to publish at least one relationship post in February. I am not sure I came late to the party because February just kicked off about four days ago. Well, since I call the shots here I will say I am just right on time.
[Read: Your Best Shot]
Let’s get down to the business of the day. I would like to reiterate if you are not aware, that I am a hopeless romantic, which is one of the things I totally love about myself.
I love everything about love and intimacy, I am a die-hard fan and strong believer in soul mates, true loves and all the lovey-dovey shit you can think of.
Over the years, I have shared my personal opinions about relationships and love from my point of view and I am going to drop one of those many opinions today.
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I see a lot of people struggling with love and commitment. It’s almost as if the universe is having a hella fun pranking them by sending all manner of “unavailable” people their way.
Getting into the relationship of your dreams is like securing your dream job. The whole calculated preparations that go into crafting your resume and cover letter just to get invited. The excitement and nervousness you feel after scaling the first and second step of the recruitment process and then the burst of euphoria that engulfs your being when you receive that mail, “congratulations, you have been selected…..” That’s how the relationship process goes.
The first week at your dream job is super duper awesome, you take a million photos everywhere in the office building, you can’t wait to share all this news with friends, foes, and strangers on the internet.
Life just feels good and great as everything seem to be coming together. After three months, you start to relax and everything starts to gradually feel like a routine. It starts getting exhausting except for some little good times at the office when it’s a co-worker’s birthday and there is cake and booze.
After six months, the photos you take on a daily basis reduces and the only thing keeping you there seems to be how great the salary you get every month is. In nine months, you have probably gotten a lot of warnings from your boss. You start to feel underappreciated and start trying to apply to other places, not necessarily because you want to leave but you just wonder if there is something better out there.
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You end up being a resentful redundant employee and ultimately leave your dream job or get fired as the case may be. You dust yourself up, put a lot of work into your resume in order to secure another one and the cycle continues.
Most times, we just love the idea of landing that job and how it makes us feel. But often fail to realize that the reason we got the job in the first place was because of how good a candidate we tried to be. Once you stop trying to be better, it all starts to fall apart.
The key to sustaining a healthy relationship is to be better at the job by developing more emotional skills, getting rid of detrimental habits, creating more time, being present and communicating more.
Whatever you do just don’t stop trying.
I wish you all the best as you celebrate love this month.❤
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